Success and self judgment 01/09/2012
Picture yourself in your late 20s, early 30s. You are a self-starter, tenacious fighter and a determined achiever. As you approach middle age self judgment becomes more evident in regards to those achieved and unachieved accomplishments and goals. You capriciously fail to realize your successes. Formerly, people / cultures outlook on success varied greatly. It was measured by such tasks as plowing the fields, being allowed to read, to write to vote, to wear pants or dear to be indifferent without being censured. Successes that may remain the same are those remote tribal societies that have no contact with the outside world. Today with the technological explosion and the ease of the instant discovery to be famous via reality shows etc, it’s almost a collective decision how success is defined I.e. becoming affluent and/or attaining instant recognition. Society has accepted success measurements as financial achievement. Those who have not realized their perceived successes tend to engage in destructive self judgment; in turn failing to recognize all the admirable achievements they have accomplished. Webster defines success as an event that accomplishes its intended purpose. Dictionary.com says it’s the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like. Do you believe success is mainly gauged in terms of economic or knowledge pursuit? Some define success as what others think of their accomplishments. What is your philosophy of success? Is your success deeply rooted in your heart, goals, vision etc? Or is it based on society’s demand? Until, JPPMOTM Add Comment Welcome 2012! 01/01/2012
Some say "out with the old and in with the new ". I am certain many people would like to leave the past behind and start a clean slate. Unfortunately, technology has not caught up to us where we can actually erase those, painful memories, bad debts, remorseful decisions, appalling colleagues... the list can go on... What we can do is embrace what we would like to forget and confront it with determination to overcome it. The beginning of the year is a time that resolutions are made; why not make a resolution for those wishes that are new and those that are old that can be measurable and achievable. This quick tip may be helpful in getting started.
Until, JPPMOTM CAST THE JITTERS ASIDE! 12/29/2011
Have you ever been in a situation where you are scheduled to speak in front of an audience and suddenly you start to sweat profusely? Without notice, your hands become a distraction; do you put them in your pocket only to begin fiddling with your fingers? Or do you drum on the desk, lectern or object in front of you? Then your feet decide they want to be part of the action by forcing you to pace without a purpose, clumping unnecessarily or they drag along as if they don’t want to move with you. Without a doubt your brain cells are now active but not with the material you prepared rather they are preoccupied with the fact they were not invited to the hand and feet event. You are now desperately trying to conjure the introduction for your material, but you find yourself rambling because your nerves have taken over? You look around the room, hoping the thumping you are hearing is from someone walking; but you realize it’s your heart beating an undistinguished drumbeat. You call on a higher power, because you are now scared to death and you begin to pray for your knees to not buckle, your nerves to fly in formation, your heart to stop skipping a beat, you pray you do pass out and you do not embarrass yourself while you contemplate turning around to walk or rather run out of the room. Of course you have not experienced a situation like that! You are one of the few that have learned to “Cast the Jitters Aside”, well maybe when you finish reading this article. Let's call that experience 'Speaking Jitters" that you don't want to repeat again. Many people at some point in their lives experience speaking jitters. Most people know that speaking jitters do not only occur in front of a crowd of people. It can be encountered at a colleague or friend’s dinner party, kids PTA’s meeting, company meeting, a job interview and so forth… no limitations! Being able to communicate where you can be relaxed poised and in control of your nerves is important to be able to articulate your message clearly. It will occur when your speaking jitters fall in formation; meaning they are around but they do not cause the devastation above. Some people find a way to overcome those speaking jitters and others continue to fight them also known as the fear of public speaking; because, they do not take the necessary steps to conquer the fear. Napoleon Hill once said “If you do not conquer yourself, you will be conquered by yourself." We are at a crossroad. Do you want to take a small step in conquering you speaking jitters? If so, here are some immediate steps to apply towards casting away those speaking jitters. PLEI - PTP. If not, you would not have read this far. Keep in mind, Rome wasn't built in one day; the list below is a guide to get you started. Preparation *Adequate time must be spent on preparing your overall speech. Location *Visit the location prior to your speaking engagement. Equipment *If you plan on using AV, props, or any other equipment, arrive early enough to practice a dry run. Interact *Prior to the meeting, introduce yourself to some of the people in the audience. Precision *Don’t try so hard for perfection that you lose sight of your delivery. Tension *If you feel the jitters coming on, acknowledge to yourself that those jitters are perfectly normal, you are not alone, and you are in control. Practice *Continue to give speeches so you can eventually...… CAST THOSE JITTERS ASIDE! Need to learn more... don’t let your nerves stop you from making an inquiry. You've read this article; therefore, you should take the next step today. Remember, YOU are not alone! Until, JPPMOTM The universe propels opportunities which bonds to one’s needs. If you are in harmony with your inner being, you are more apt to observe all types of circumstances and its development around and within you. Consider the feeling of being in harmony with yourself as being empowered with your thoughts and the energy that’s within you. For example: Have you ever thought about a person, place or thing and at some point a connection is made? You may have walked into a friend, family who knows the person you thought about, or out of the blue that person contacts you. Has that ever happened to you? Is your response “I was just thinking about you?” How about a place or a thing? Now imagine being in tune so much that you become connected with opportunities that are disguised. The average person will allow an opportunity to bypass them only to realize what was missed because it was cloaked differently than what they anticipated. Opportunities can also bypass you by allowing those who may have your best interest at heart to make the decision on which opportunity is or isn’t right for you. There is no right and wrong as to which opportunity is best; the road less traveled sometimes brings about greatness and the road frequently traveled could shine just as bright. In either case, the universe knows your needs. Being in harmony with yourself can only enhance how you perceive those gifts. Wouldn’t you like to be in harmony with your inner being? Wouldn’t you want to be cognizant of your thoughts as it relates to reality? Perhaps you can start by setting a goal; then begin to take action in achieving that goal. Don’t forget to pay attention to the various types of circumstances as they intertwine. Keep in mind; the more open you are in embracing unknown opportunities, the greater the possibility of discovering if and how the various circumstances relates to your goal. What method have you used? Until, JPPMOTM Whether your work place is in a sports arena, the political field or for most people a typical work environment; is being ethical or having integrity an integral key in the work place? (1) Some people believe the principles are only applicable at home because they need an edge in the work place. (2) Some somehow do not believe those words exists because it’s easier to say sorry later, if needed and (3) others would place everything they own on being ethical and maintaining integrity in everything they do. They are always in harmony with those principles and will not be deterred from those traits. How does ethics and integrity fit in your life? How is it working out for you? Without ethics and integrity would you be the person that you are today? Why or why not? Until, JPPMOTM Is it odd that you did not see 5 or 10 tips for perfecting a meeting after lunch? Perhaps three tips are exactly what you need to get started and to ensure your audience does not fall asleep when facilitating a meeting. TIP ONE: Whether you are conducting a face-to-face meeting, a webinar, conference call etc, your number one priority is to be a magnet for your audience’s attention. Perhaps you can add a little bit of humor or excitement to your presentation. You can consider providing some words of wisdom or a message they can ponder on when you sense distractions are about to transpire. Keeping your audience attention will assist you in determining whether your message fell on fertile soil. TIP TWO: Ensure you are well versed in your subject for presentation. Remember your audience just came back from lunch; therefore, consider a topic that is energetic or can induce comradeship when revealing your subject. Keep your theme on the subject of your speech. Engage the audience by sharing short stories, anecdotes or humor in your delivery. Let the audience feel you are well versed in the subject by personalizing some of your talk when possible. TIP THREE: You are the ambassador on this subject therefore prepare your presentation with the same concept as a speech. You need an INTRODUCTION. This is the point where you capture your audience attention and maintain it throughout the presentation. You need a BODY. This is the part of your presentation where you present what you want the audience to know using smooth transitions. Transitions can be used in many ways as long as it's seamless to the audience. Anecdotes, +/- 1 minute humor, personalized insights, short stories, etc are ways to transition into your next point. You need a CONCLUSION. This is the part of your presentation where you leave the audience wanting more. You captured their attention, you shared with them the points on the subject and just when they are about to take a break you leave them with some food for thought. OK! There are many other tips that can help you deliver an exceptional presentation. Rome wasn’t built in one day and neither will your development for an effective presentation. Since you are curious, here are a few ideas to ponder on when making a presentation:
Until, JPPMOTM. Life is a circle; express yourself... 08/15/2011
When you were growing up, did you make affirmations of being a (doctor, lawyer, professional athlete, actor/actress, famous, politician...)? Role the clock forward, did you accomplish or are you accomplishing any of those affirmations? If you met your goals, do you recall how the opportunities presented itself to accomplish those goals? Or were you waiting for the opportunity to be very apparent? Did you gaze at it only to recognize your missed opportunity after it was gone or because it was disguised? Too many times opportunities are missed because it wasn’t fully clad in a manner that was acceptable to the person asking. When we express an affirmation; others may have expressed an affirmation that is in harmony with our needs. Time has a manner in which it places “liked” expressions together. Sometimes the expression is fulfilled through a stranger, disaster, celebration, death, kids, divorce etc. Keep in mind, there is a purpose for the merge and once the expression is completed it will be time to move on to embark on another expression. Whether it’s at an agonizing moment or a serene space in time, the person; thing or situation may be drastically or subtly removed from our lives. That is the time we will need to reflect on lessons learned from the expression. Did we grow? Did we meet our goals? Did we learn something we would not have learned if it wasn’t for the person or circumstance? If not, perhaps the lesson will come from the sudden departure. In either case, be observant; look within because the answer may not be apparent rather concealed for a purpose. Learn to accept the lessons, recognize your growth, prepare to move forward and be willing to share with others. Another journey is about to begin where someone else expressed an affirmation. The lessons you learned could be the guidance and support they need. The goals you accomplish could be the supporting experience they need to accomplish a difficult situation. The peace and serenity you acquired could help them find tranquility emotionally and spiritually. Consider every moment as an opportunity for a bigger picture, a lifetime of education for a solid foundation. Your path has been cleared and your journey is being fulfilled because life is a circle; be open to receive your expressions? Until, JPPMOTM What is in your closet? 08/05/2011
Were you pondering the meaning of the question “what is in your closet?” If you did you probably want to read on. I am not referring to the type of clothing you have or how neat or disorderly you may have your closet. The closet I am referring to is “your mind” - those self & perceived public images you have of yourself. Did you know your self & perceived public images may have started being defined when you were young? The likelihood is you probably can’t recall when you first began to conjure up images of how you want to be perceived and how you want others to see you. Most likely it became evident during your earlier school days. Perhaps you looked like a nerd or you had a milk carton shape rather than the popular coca cola figure or the Popeye physique. Despite the rationale, at some point, your closet was triggered and you consciously began the quest to be perceived in a certain manner. In your closet you learned to perceive who you are based on various factors. Conceivably it may have started from your upbringing, your life experiences / your values / your belief system / your culture/ integrity and so forth. Are you starting to follow the trail that I am on yet? If you are not on the trail yet; let me elaborate some more on the topic. I would like you to keep in mind that your self and public images are what you want for yourself and how you want others to perceive you. It doesn’t necessarily have to be reality; it is whatever you want to represent your self & perceived public image as you go through life. Hey, if you really want some great examples, look at some politicians, celebrities or some other public figures. Most are very skilled in having a self image and portraying a public image they want others to buy into. Or for example: Are you in a relationship? Did you try to impress that person when you first met? How are you different today than the first week, month or year you met? I believe many people are true to themselves while some prefer to be adventurous. Whether your self & perceived public image is or isn’t reality, be prepared to accept criticism when your closet is breached. For example: You have matured and accumulated status otherwise you are no different today than the first week, month or year you met your loved one. If someone mentions that it’s odd your cell phone service is off for two weeks or they notice you are not driving your Mercedes, the likelihood is your image is breached. On the other hand; you may be portraying a lavish lifestyle and the lifestyle is not within your financial means. You are holding off the creditors by making minimum payments? If someone mentions that it’s odd your cell phone service is off for two weeks or they notice you are not driving your Mercedes, your image is also breached. In either case, depending on how much truth there is hidden in your closet will depend on your response. The difference is to try to be non-judgmental when someone criticizes your closet. After all, if you set up the image that isn’t reality; you most likely should be prepared when all images doesn’t seem laconic. If your closet resides with reality, it’s even more reason to try to understand why your closet is being breached. There may be some truth to the comment. Therefore if that person is important to you, you want to LISTEN to what is being said or what image they receive from what you are portraying. ACKNOWLEDGE their viewpoint, you don’t have to agree; but you may be able to shed light on their viewpoint. Ask Questions for clarification if needed. Paraphrase what you believe you heard. Be prepared to accept the Truth; conversely, you do not necessarily have to accept their method of criticism. What is in your closet? Is it spotless? Do you need to revisit your self & perceived public image? My last visit in my closet I found Integrity, honesty, directness and hard work. I plan to check in six months to ensure it stays uncontaminated. It’s never too late to inventory your closet; as a matter of fact start today because tomorrow isn’t promised. Until, JPPMOTM Do you plan to do something about that thought or goal? When? Many people have various methods of mentally preparing themselves to achieve a goal. I am one that affirms and visualize before taking action. Assuming you will take action to accomplish your goal. What do you do mentally to align yourself with your goal? Do you clear your mind in preparation for your client? Some say they shift into an unbiased place so they can receive what is being said without judgment. Others do ten minutes of meditation, some try different breathing techniques. Depending on circumstances and setting I tend to shift to a safe place to meditate. What works for you? Is mental awareness part of your preparation techniques? | JP-PMOTM
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